Lukas chapter 15 is coming along. I'm almost halfway so it'll probably be another week because I've been working on school stuff and husband stuff.
I feel like I shouldn't get too detailed with talking about my friend who is connecting with one of my husband's Arab friends, but it's fascinating to me. I guess because when I was at his stage and figuring things out with dating an alpha Muslim guy, there wasn't anyone to talk to. None of my friends understood and they thought it was sketchy.
That got me thinking about how I handled stuff back then and I went to my ThoughtBook. This entry was from three years ago in October 2015 when we were dating but didn't yet live together.
It explains why my husband never likes to wrestle with me or get too rough. Even now when he play spanks or pins me down he is so gentle that it loses the desired effect. I’ve noticed in each of my series I include a similar event between the alpha and boy. It left an impression on me.
Don't judge it too harshly… things happen:
Things got weird with A. His friend asked for my help to look at his paper for a class so he wanted to meet up on Saturday. But then I got a text from him this morning saying he was meeting with someone else for help and was sorry for bothering me. So I asked A—- last night after we did stuff together and he said he'd told his friend to find someone else for help and not bother me anymore.
He wouldn't say why or what he said to his friend. He told me to forget about it. I kept asking and he got upset and said to stop asking. He said it was between men.
He wouldn't say why or what he said to his friend. He told me to forget about it. I kept asking and he got upset and said to stop asking. He said it was between men.
I got upset by that. So I got up from his bed saying I would text the friend and ask him myself. Then he grabbed my arm really hard to pull me back down to him and it hurt. I yelled and he realized he hurt me. He suddenly looked scared. He sat up and kept trying to look at it but I scooted up against the pillows and pulled my knees up into my chest.
He kept apologizing and saying he forgets how small I am and he didn't mean to do it.
I told him to take me home and we didn't really talk.
But yesterday he called and we went out and he apologized. He felt bad seeing the little mark on my arm. He said that guy just likes to use people and he didn't want him using me. He didn't say if he meant use for school work or use for physical stuff.
It's all good. I just pushed him too far I think. He wasn't used to me being so insistent when he'd already told me no.
I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. I know my friends wouldn't get it and they already don't like him. They’d tell me I was being stupid for talking to him again after that.
I think a lot of couples or even friends have gotten rough like this once or twice. I know I’ve tried to stop someone in a similar manner but I’m smaller so it didn’t cause any harm.
ReplyDeleteHe grew up with brothers and was in the Iranian army so he is used to rougher guys. Since then he thinks of me as a fragile kid. :)
DeleteSome couples go through rough patches but they learn to deal with it and they can either grow closer or it can even tear them apart. It is how you and your significant other handle them, whether you can grow from it or not.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, the story is amazing Emri, I can't wait to see where you take us next. The two friends that are together is like a story in its on right. For someone who only imagines what it looks like, it can be awesome. So thank you for the awesome imagery you put in them for your friends. I hope them the best.
looking forward to more,
Aclassylady AKA Jen
That is true. We learn about each other. :) Thank you!
DeleteI understand. My husband was an officer in the army before we met, and it was frustrating to him when I failed to accept everything he said as law. It took several years for us to reach a point where I only questioned him about the most important things, and he learned that sometimes I needed an explanation. I think the most important help to offer people entering into a new relationship is that it takes work and patience and that neither of you is a mind reader.
ReplyDeleteYes! That is so us. He is surprised sometimes that I don't just scramble to comply with his wishes like a Persian wife. But the trade off is he says I don't whine and beg for expensive things like a Persian wife would.
DeleteI agree with the above comments. But I’m also curious what it was like with your friends, then and now. What did they initially think when they saw you enter that type of intense relationship? And have they changed their minds on your husband or relationship now that time has passed?
ReplyDeleteI totally need to blog about that! It was another interesting period we went through.
DeleteI forget whether it was three or four years ago that I found your writings on nifty (yes, I was underage, sorry for breaking the rules😉🙈🙉🙊👼). You gave a broken boy a lot of things to think about. You're writing helped me understand the two crazy Arabs I had in my life back then. Foster dad (Mohsen) who trusted no one around his boy, and boss/tutor/best friend Zahir. I will confess your "Cage" series ALMOST scared me out of a relationship with Zahir.
ReplyDeleteIf you think an Arab lover is domineering you only know half the story. You will see when you and A have kids. That "warrior mode" they go into is amplified by 1000. When Z got sent back to Jordan, Moe was happy. Then I became so depressed that Moe moved Heaven and Earth to make it so I could go be by Zahir's side. We weren't even physical at that point. Moe just knew at that point I needed Zahir like oxygen.
Three years (and change) ago Zahir sat in dry poop with me in his handcrafted Italian suit, after I had given my statement during sentencing. I think that was when things changed from being friend to being boyfriend. I think seeing me on the stand when he could do nothing to protect me. I think it was good he saw "the claws" I have in my "velvet gloves." Seeing me sitting that evening on the floor of the barn he realized my strength was not inexhaustible👨🌾.
I think his "mission" now is to protect me from all evil👬.🤘
Yes. I can only imagine how my husband is going to be once we have the babies. Luckily, some of the areas we are looking at have a lot of Persians and/or muslims so they can have a community to do things with. I doubt we will be accepted as a couple for the majority of things since they are pretty conservative, but he is making connections with other lgbt families down there. It would be nice to be in a group. :)
DeleteI'm white, my husband is Native American. I grew up in a fairly violent family so early in our relationship I sometimes would push him around to try and get a rise out of him because he is so chill. I never meant to hurt him, and if I pushed too far I would feel like shit. I never like punched him or anything but it's one of those things I had to discuss in therapy for me to understand the root of the issue... 15 years married and still together so sometimes people can be too quick to bail. Love is a choice you have to make every day.
ReplyDelete