man-heavy post!

I am super excited for where my stories are going on wattpad. The best part of it is being able to share them with my husband. He has never read my nifty stuff or known about it. He would most definitely NOT approve of his innocent, naive little love writing dirty stuff. 

I am doing some major cleanup with the Lukas story and trying to fix the typos and make it better. I am going to hit some major roadwork when I get to the part where his dad turns into a puppy. I still want him to live his truth like that, but it needs to be more tasteful. That's funny because when I wrote Lukas people wanted as spin-off of his dad in the pup life. 

Lukas hit #1 in one category and is moving up in others. I have a few more chapters of Hayden to do. I don't want this to turn into one of those stories where Tank struggles with parents who are hateful and want him to change. I think they will come through for him. I never know until I start writing it. I tried to map out this story and do a lot of planning, but that's just not my style. With academic writing it is 100% my style, but with fun stuff I like to see where the characters take me. 

I like the models I picked for the chapter covers and adding art to the chapters adds a different dimension. I'm using Tim Borrman for the Hayden series and Sam Harwood for the Lukas one. 

In my head, Tim makes a perfect Tank. He has that shape, stronger than he looks, that appeals to Hayden. 

Sam works as Lukas. I can see Ari looking at him as a pretty boy who needs protecting and direction. Plus the pink lips are something a Middle Eastern alpha can't resist. 

In other news, we are heading to Texas next week to spend a four day weekend with his parents. I'm excited to see them but it will be hot hot. I am excited to see his dad. On the cruise we were able to do our morning coffee routine. He kept me busy while my husband was trying to run his work from the ship. 

There is a new show on Amazon Prime that is SO GOOD. It's called The Boys. It's about a league of super heroes that are awful people and abuse their celebrity status. 

Location! Location! Location!

I am up to 9 chapters of the Lukas series on wattpad and 12 chapters of Hayden. 

I am learning a lot about the platform and it is fun to go back through the Lukas series and edit it. I'm also adding more artwork to the stories. I liked finding locations for Lukas' apartment, Ari's condo, and the Khorasani estate. I always had them in my head because the first two are locations in Glendale near where we lived. 

The Khorasani estate I pulled from a house in Beverly Hills because I couldn't find a good online pic of the house in Glendale that I liked for them. 

The funny thing is my husband's comments on the Lukas series. Obviously he did not read the original one on nifty so this is all new to him and he is reading the cleaned up version. 

Him: Is good this Lukas has a man to look after him, but he is too young for a 25 year old man!

Me: Ummm I was barely 17 when we met and you were 25. 

Him: Oh... well is different for us. You needed me so much! 

Me: Yes, sir. I still do. :) 

It's funny how he doesn't see that this series was based so much on us, at least in how the two interact and how Lukas discovers all the crazy rules Ari has for him. I guess we see what we want to see. He actually said that Ari is too controlling when he read a chapter where Ari did the EXACT same thing my husband did when we were dating!! haha

I'm not sure where this Hayden story will end. Obviously Tank will need to come out somehow and it should probably be huge and traumatic! :) I think I'll try to wrap it up in 5 or 6 more chapters. I have other ideas I want to write about and this was kind of my break in to Wattpad. 

The Lukas series is doing well and I will NOT be posting any of the Hamad series on there. 

Although, the first few chapters of Emerson and the Lion were super well received on Literotica and are still my highest rated series there. I could take the first few chapters and then rework the story completely with a different direction that might have a more mass-market appeal. I'll think about it down the road. 

Anyways, life is back to normal here. Husband is working and there's a crazy heatwave going on. We might be heading to Houston in two weeks to visit his parents. He is seeing if his schedule will allow it. We haven't been in a few months. 

Monday back to routine.

It feels kind of sad to be home. Husband slept in all the way to 8:30! That is late for a Monday for him. Vacation is over and he hit the ground running. Poor guy. I will make a special dinner for him. 

Last night we got to Orange County around 11 and my dad was there at the baggage claim waiting for us. We were so tired. I think my dad must have been lonely. This is probably the longest we have been apart from each other. Normally he just checks in with me once a day, usually for dinner. Being away from each other for 9 days was long and it was hard to talk to him while we were out cruising. 

Anyways! Back to work on chapter 12 of Hayden which I wrote nothing on for the whole week! 

The guy who put Noah's Starship up on Wattpad a few years back is redoing it and making shorter chapters and new art for it. I think it just didn't get promoted well on there. Check it out if you can: 
https://www.wattpad.com/story/116334729-noah%27s-new-world-boyxboy
I like the new cover! :) 

I need to do artwork for the chapters of Lukas I posted. 

It is a heat wave this week. It's not too bad in Orange County, but the rest of the country looks crazy. I'll be inside mostly today just cleaning and laundry. I need to pop into my dad's little house in the back and probably do some laundry for him too. Happy Monday :) 

Last day of vacation

The cruise was amazing! The first few days sucked and we fought, but then it was really fun. We are getting off the boat soon to head home.

Before we even left, my husband said he was worried about us being together nonstop in a small room. He knows I need my space and he knows he can be kind of smothering towards me with his family. 

That’s exactly what happened. 

The good part is that his family completely accepts us as a regular married couple. 

But they pick at him. Both his parents said he eats too much and I eat too little. My husband has gotten bigger, but to me he’s still the hottest guy I’ll ever see. My favorite place on earth is burrrowed into his hold. 

Plus, he works incredibly hard to make a nice life for us and our future kids. That’s stressful. 

Every time we ate with them he’d tell me I need more. When I got a plate of cucumbers and hummus for lunch, he said that wasn’t enough. 

Him: You need meat, my love 

Me: I don’t want meat. I want what I got.

Him: This is not enough, my heart. You will be hungry! 

Me: if I’m hungry then I’ll get more later. They have food 24 hours a day. Please stop. 

This was us at every meal with his parents.

Then there were the activities. They wanted to shop or lounge in the vip area. I wanted to do the activities or use the nice gym or pool or go karts they have. We kept missing the activities I wanted to go to like painting classes or trivia games. 

The painting class you have to get to early and put your name down when the lady gets there. I wanted to go before and wait... but he didn’t want me sitting there by myself while he finished up some work on his laptop in the room. Because of course if I am on my own in a busy place then I’ll get snatched up by some hungry man. 

I had to wait for him because his boy needs an adult. By the time we got there it was full and they’d already started. That happened twice. 

He felt awful and I, burying my feelings like I often do, said it was ok and no big deal. I know better than to do that. I don’t speak up like I should. 

Then the clothing! At home I wear whatever but in public he wanted me super covered. “You will be cold and get sick!” 

I finally exploded when we were walking with his family and he was trying to massage the back of my neck but also doing that to guide me through the crowd and it hurt. I told him to stop and he didn’t hear me. 

I finally turned on him and pushed him away and told him I was done. I started crying and told him he was being a dick then went back to our room because I didn’t want to cry in front of people.  

Husband came 15 minutes later and we talked it out. He brought me a moose from the gift shop. It was the one I liked the first day but I said it was too expensive and I don’t need more stuffed creatures. He went back and got it to cheer me up. He made it talk and apologize to me. He called it make up moose. He buys me things when he feels bad. He buys me things when he’s happy too. 

He said his parents thought he’d hurt me. “They look at me like I am evil asshole who hurts his little love. My mother say I don’t deserve you.” 

His father has always told me I am too nice and accommodating to my husband. I take care of him like a king. He’s said a Persian wife would demand more and keep him on the chase and I should do that with my husband. That’s not me. I am grateful for how hard he works for us. I try to make him happy at all times, but i do need to speak up more. 

The rest of the week was better. We got to do the paint class. It was a starry sky with the northern lights. We did go karts and a train ride and toured the little towns. Ketchikan was the best, Juneau was pretty, Haines was meh. Alaska is mountainous! The glacier we saw broke off some smaller pieces right in front of us! It was crazy beautiful. 

The funny part is we kept crossing paths with this holland cruise boat that was LOADED with older gays. At every port he was getting scoped left and right; especially when he held my hand or put his arm around me in the restaurants. 

I got the look from them that I get from older gays. It’s like “you’re just a gold digging trophy boy.” My husband didn’t notice it at all. He said they were just nice older men seeing two younger guys in love. 

I did like their rainbow shirts with sayings like “I sweat glitter!” Or “I can’t even think straight!” Juneau had pride stickers in every shop window. Ketchikan had flags out to welcome them. 

Vacation and Lukas Returns

Tonight we are flying to Seattle to meet husband's family and then set sail tomorrow for the high seas. He got a later flight tonight because his family is already in Seattle and we are already going to spend 7 days on a boat with them doing lots of preplanned activities. haha. So he wanted one last day at home with just the two of us. 

I can tell he is not excited for this trip. He said the rooms on a cruise ship are small and cramped, even the big one they got for us. He says he knows he gets on my nerves when we are closed up together for too long... It is kind of true. I like my space and he can be a bit all over me when we are on trips. But I am so excited. 

IN OTHER NEWS!!

I decided I want to try and go back and clean up a previous story from my nifty work to put up on wattpad. 

Whenever I do get it published (the first few chapters) the link should be here. 

I wanted to do a cleaned up version of Lukas and the Shah. Not just edited for errors and better writing, but also with a lot of the sex taken out. I can make it more mainstream. I am definitely leaving  in the part where Lukas fingers Ari on the beach! That moment was so hot and pivotal to how things changed for them. So we'll see how it goes. 

I will be off of here for at least the next week. So please if you do read the Lukas story on wattpad please don't comment anything about Nifty! :) 

Hayden 9 and 10

This new story has me writing faster than I can post! I don't want to put up more than one chapter per day or people might get confused and skip one, but woah this is flowing really well. 

I finished up chapter 9 this morning and chapter 10 is already written. I just need the art for it. I want to try and do 10 and 11 before we leave for our trip Saturday night. We'll see. If I get the art for 11 then I can finish it on the flight. But honestly I usually fall asleep on flights and he booked us the nice big seats this time so I'm pretty sure I will be passed out under his arm before we get out of California airspace.  


Here is Chapter 9's art. It's not super inspired, but it does the job: 

Chapter 10 touches on some really heavy stuff. I wasn't sure how far to go into things but I absolutely love the raw emotion that came out on those pages. I honestly just try to listen to the characters in my head and see where they want to take things. 

This is what I have so far for the Ch. 10 artwork: 

UPDATE: Chapter 10 is done. :) We had a quick dinner because husband is working overtime to be able to enjoy our vacation. 

Thanks for all the positive comments and votes! Time to go start dinner for my husband who is stuck in LA traffic. 

I like doing artwork for each chapter. It helps me go back and think about what I wrote. It's like visual revision. 

It is getting super hot today through this weekend! Luckily we will be in a cooler climate on vacation, but be safe, SoCal!! 

Hayden 8 is up!

Finished up the newest chapter of Hayden this morning. YES That is Diego Tinoco in the picture. Love him. :) 

Click to check it out. Or copy paste link if you go incognito here: https://www.wattpad.com/756300565-hayden%27s-shelter-chapter-8-hayden-comes-home



I'm ranked! The story is doing really well. Thank you all for looking at it and voting and commenting support. :) 

I am so excited for this series! I know I keep saying that. I am super twisted about what to do with the Aaron character and I don't want to give too much away before people have had a chance to read it. It's funny because right now I am seriously not cool with one of the Aarons in my life. 

This kid I was friends with sort of in high school and then we crossed a few times when I was taking college classes on campus. He has been super rude since my husband and I moved to Orange County. I don't want to get into it, but he is out going to clubs and parties and sleeping with other guys and I guess he thinks I should be doing that too. He is unhappy that I'm married and have a husband with a job and a house? Like is that even something to be mad at someone about!? He's made some racist comments too about my Persian husband. 

ANYWAYS! My point is that I feel both sides for the Aarons vs the Tanks of this gay life. No one should have to be forced into being an out loud advocate but also no one should be shamed for having a little too much glitter in their wand. Does that make sense? 

I was never either of them. I wasn't the alpha jock dude bro and I wasn't the fierce diva. I was what my dad called a late bloomer. I was a quiet observer to this whole thing. I was too nerdy and shy and small to participate. 

My husband says he likes what a "Quiet boy" I am. That kind of bugs me too because I know he means I can pass for straight and blend into the wall. I'm not someone that stands out and risks getting attacked. I'm not proud of that. It's a form of privilege I guess. I don't worry so much about being hurt for being me. But I do worry for those people who do have to choose between being themselves and being safe. I worry for those who don't have a big Persian husband to protect them. 

Hayden Ch. 7

Chapter 7 is posted! :) 

So if you read Hayden's Shelter chapter six and then looked at it again you saw I cut off the end of it. It was a bomb I didn't feel good about dropping so I erased it. I slept on it then woke up the next morning and thought No no no! That was no good. I need to focus more on the relationship between Tank and Hayden. Tank is heading into a more alarming area. He's not the dreamboat Hayden thinks he is and there will be red flags. Great Big Flags! :) Ok maybe not. but we'll see what happens! 

Thank you to everyone who checked it out and voted on it. I am trying to break it into ranking so more people can see it. I like where it is going. :) Please vote if you like it. :) I like making art for each chapter. 

Next week we will be on a cruise in the wild! I am so excited. Husband is SO not excited. We have a beautiful room with a deck and champagne and everything. He is more concerned with the wifi in the room so he can keep working while we are on the high seas. That is ok because I will have his family to entertain me. 

I've been listening to mormon podcasts and watching lots of youtube videos to research for the new series. Also I found a show called Big Love. It is interesting! It's about a polygamous family in Utah and wow it is good. I didn't grow up in a religion so it is interesting to explore. 

Bigger Earthquake! So Scary!!

Ok that was the biggest earthquake that has happened in my lifetime and OMG that was some crazy shit. Yesterday's was just over 6 on the scale and tonight's was over 7!! It was not NOT the gentle rolling quake from last time. This was a big jolty quake that made cabinets open in the kitchen and a cutting board fell off the counter. I know that sounds stupid but it was seriously scary!! So crazy. I do not like this. 

Husband says they had them in Iran this big. I am seriously freaked. He says we can sleep in a tent in the yard if I want, but he really doesn't want to do that. I just feel dizzy, like things are spinning and weird. 

No writing on the next Hayden chapter tonight. I am about halfway through the next chapter (chapter 6). Please read it and give it a thumbs up star if you can :) 

Earthquake has me shooooook. :( My stomach feels twisty. 

Hayden and Tank & EARTHQUAKE!! CRAZY!!!

UPDATE: OMG that was the first real quake I have felt in years! Usually we miss them or it's a minor jolt. This was a long rolling quake where everything shakes. Husband had time to run out of the bedroom and grab me in the dining room where I am writing.

"I do not like this," he said and then started coughing and I got him back to bed where he has his work day setup. So crazy!! Everything is fine here!! It was a 6.6 they are saying!

Original: __________________________________________

New story is going really well. I am not sure where It's going to head. I think the best part is being able to share it with my husband. He likes it so far. He says he can see me in both of the characters. He said he worries about some day being separated from me and our future kids because we will all be US citizens and he is still working on it. It takes years and years, but us being married makes it easier. 

I also like being able to make art to add to the stories. It adds a new layer to things. 

I used instagram pics for the characters but then I decided to cover their faces because I would be freaked out if I saw my pic on some stranger's story. The one I got for the mom character. She is apparently an actress so she's fine. Then the one I got for the dad character. He is featured on lots of accounts for hot Arab guys. The pic in the middle is the Mesa, Arizona LDS temple. 

SO click here to read and upvote if you want to check it out. :) 



We are supposed to go to a July 4th party down by the beach in Newport, but husband woke up not feeling so great. It always happens to him on a holiday because his body is pretty stressed from all the things he does so he finally has a full day of no business and his body says "Ok now is a good time to strike him down!" 

I feel bad for him. I made him some toast and happy tummy tea. 

Happy 4th!