Good night

The new Lukas is up and Im already getting nice feedback. I don't know if I will write another chapter of it. If I do then I need to start a good story arc. Something exciting. They need some drama. Or maybe a new series, something more luxury fantasy based. 🐲

I've had this storyline in my head about three brothers: Chance, Fortune "Fort," & Lucky 

The oldest one goes missing and five years later the youngest one gets a hidden message and is lured away to "find" him. Kinda cryptic... but it's percolating. 

❤👀❤👀❤👀❤👀❤👀

Husband finally tore his favorite underwear that I have been dying to throw out for a long time. He was sliding into them after we showered after the gym. They caught on his thigh or something and he was pulling too fast and... rip! They are tacky and old. Ok I know this isn't blog-worthy, but when you're married you get excited about stuff like this! 😁 Of course I comforted him and pretended to be sad like he was... I try to buy him new stuff, but he has like three or four pairs he can't get rid of... One down. 

Maybe I'll get him these? That address is an office building and our secret parking spot when we go to the hollywood bowl... Maybe it used to be a sex shop? 

New Lukas sent in! New Phone too!

Just sent in the next chapter of Lukas. I can't believe it's been a month since the last one posted. 

I'm trying to decide if I want to write a chapter 16 or do a new series. There is some happy ending in this chapter so if I do another one, it will need to start some new drama. 

Friday I got a new phone!! After the tears and tantrum when he got me the iPhone 7, this time he asked me before taking me for a new one. Well he didn't exactly ask me. He has been very annoyed with my 7 and some of our link up stuff wasn't working right. 

Two years ago he just took my 6 without telling me and surprised me with the 7. I was um... younger and um... less mature back then. 😕I got really upset because the 6 was the first thing he bought me and it was so special to me. I had it all set up perfectly and every little scratch on it was special to me. It was sentimental. He didn't get it. and honestly I don't get anymore why I was so upset. 

Anyways, this time he asked and I got the new XS. It's so pretty. He has the bigger one. My dad got the XR. He loves it. So now our phones are linked up again with the sharing and tracking stuff. 

We had a fun weekend!! I can't write anymore though. All this Lukas drained me. I hope people like it! 

Arabi

We are going to NYC for Thanksgiving! I hope it snows. I am excited. I have a winter coat that sits in the closet and I haven't touched it in over a year. We are going to get them cleaned and get our winter gear for the trip. He has a client who invited us and will show us around. I can't wait! 

I've been texting with Ollie a lot lately. It's kind of cool because recently I've come across a few guys like me who are new to dating muslim alpha guys. He texts me questions and I do my best to answer them, but honestly you can't say that one muslim alpha guy is just like the next... that would be racist or religionist or whatever it is called. 

When my husband and I got married, his mom sent me a letter she had written "to his future wife." I know at the time she didn't imagine that his future wife would be male... or white... or not read Farsi... or not be muslim... etc... But here I am and she thought enough of us to pass it along anyways. It had some advice on how to deal with him, but it had some islamic scripture stuff about what a wife can expect and should require of their husband in islam. 

This article has some of the advice, but there was other stuff in her list and he takes it very seriously. He is good about taking me out and trying to do things that please me. 

The flip side of that, his mother did not share. I assume she thought his future wife would have been raised properly and know how to care for her husband. My husband says it comes naturally to me, that I am obedient and caring with him. He says I build him up and make him feel like a champion.

He has had to correct me, but he does it in a gentle way. Still, there are times when he has said, "I am your husband! You will obey me." That came up when I walked to the drugstore on my own without his permission, and it has come up when I wanted to go out with my friends to things he didn't approve of. He isn't a harsh guy though. He genuinely cares about my safety and well-being so I defer to him on the important things. 

If I complain about him to my dad, my dad always says the same thing, "He is your husband. You are married and you should work it out with him." He isn't that helpful because he doesn't want to get involved. He knows my guy is faithful, nonviolent, and loves me so he says it is none of his business. 

I do try to obey him and follow his lead and he does try to include me in decisions even when his mind is already set. He tries to not be the harsh daddy and I try to not be the whiny boy. We make it work most days and on days when it doesn't, we take a long bubble bath with candles and hold each other and talk it out. 

I am blogging, look at me go

Ok I wil seriously finish Lukas this week at some point. I keep telling myself to do it and I should have time stating tomorrow. I just need to finish their sex scene and then a scene with Lukas and his dad because Lukas saw something he shouldn't have and he is confused and shaken like a little guy would be. I know I would be shaken if I saw my dad doing stuff with an older Arab dude. 

So husband brought home a bottle of wine a client gave him. Usually at dinner he and my dad have beer and I have water, but tonight after some whining I had some wine. :) It was gross and tasted like medicine, but both of them swore it was primo wine so whatever. Now I feel like the world is in slow motion. 

In other big news, my husband's dad got an offer from some research lab in Texas and they might be possibly going there!!! Texas!! My husband says that is a three hour flight away!! I don't know if they will take it, but he says they are considering it and it would mean they would be in Texas for a few years at least!! How cool is that? We would visit them like crazy! It is an engineering thing with oil and it would mean good money for his parents since Iran is currently going through some financial mess. 

Husband says it is near a Persian community with lots of muslims and not like crazy trump area so that is cool! 

I would be so excited to have them near us and we would visit a lot! So we will see!! 

Ollie texted me today. They went looking at apartments and Mohammed kept asking if he liked it and if he would be able to cook in the kitchen properly. haha. Ollie says I need to show him how I cook for my guy. I told him I will teach him all I know which isn't much but I keep him fed. I will be so excited if they move close to us. He said they can't afford our building, but there are some nearby where they can afford. Yay! :) 

Life is good and I am so in love with this man of mine. He is so good to me and I bounced in his lap to remind him of how grateful I am to have him. :) 

Yay for wine :) 

This is us... someday

He always sends me little memes saying "This is you!" or "This is me!" but Friday he sent me one that said "This will be us!" 

It's definitely us in the grocery store. He lazily pushes the cart and plays with his phone while I steer it from the front and put in what we need. His only participation at the store is pushing the cart and paying for things. This will definitely be us when we have kids, except I probably won't be in a suit and he won't be in pajamas... hopefully. 

Midterm projects are finally over and I am determined to finish the next Lukas this week! I only have like five pages to go. I have been writing little paragraphs here and there when I find a moment and feel inspired. 

Ok Ollie and Mohammed update since it's been a few weeks. They are ALREADY moving in together!! Ollie texted me all excited about it and said M. is demanding it and says his apartment he shares is not safe. I asked my husband about it and he gave me more info. He said there was a break-in in the complex and M. heard about it and got upset, plus he has gone over there a few times to visit Ollie and found the door completely unlocked! 

If you've never dated a Muslim guy from that part of the world, they are crazy about security. Apparently he yelled at Ollie and made him cry and then felt like an a-hole (something my husband has experienced several times!) and when they made up he told him he would get an apartment for them to move into together. 

My husband said, "He has to learn as I did not to yell. A boy does not know better." (Yes, he really does think we are naive "innocents.") 

M. was living with roommates sharing a house so he is going to rent something for the two of them. It seems really soon, but they have been spending almost every day together and Ollie is super excited. 

So life is good. Today we went to a brunch with the orange county gay parents friend group. It was ok. The guy who flirted with my husband wasn't there. We are kind of the young couple of the group. It seems a lot of gays like us don't have kids until their late 30's or so. Some of these people are in their forties. My husband doesn't want to wait.  

The mid-semester crush...

Ok ok ok… I'm starting to get the angry emails demanding a Lukas update and it will come…
I'm finishing my midterm projects and this weekend I should have some writing time.

I miss my writing time when the house is empty and I can just sit down and get into
Lukas’ world. It's been a crazy busy two weeks. I'm getting to spend more time with
my husband, but it's mostly us working quietly in his office and him occasionally looking
up and saying, "How is my boy?"

He says it like he is desperate to hear me say, "It's great! This is awesome!"
Instead I wrinkle my nose and look frustrated and then he comes over and rubs my
shoulders and says, "Just do best you can. You put too much for perfection, little one."

Yesterday the husband was so stressed out that after dinner when I was loading
the dishwasher he came in and actually helped me. He never does that.
Then when the last glass was in and I turned it on, he silently took me
by the hand and led me to the big bathtub in our bathroom for some
bubble time. Right after we finished, he totally fell asleep.
I let him rest and washed him, but when it was time to get out
I had to wake him since I am totally incapable of lifting a pile of muscles twice my size.

Lukas is coming though. I think I have had a bad combination of no time to write
and no time to think up the crazy exciting twists and turns people want from my
stories. Some chapters are just nice little slices of life with an alpha. :)

I mean if Lukas got kidnapped, what would happen to him? I don’t want him
tortured or violated or anything like that. I also don’t know who I would kill
off if I did go that way. I could show the heartbreak of the Khorasanis getting
deported, but then I would get political comments on it. Though that could be
an idea… What if Lukas went to Iran? They could sneak him in.

I often think about what my life would be like if I went with my husband to Tehran.
He is dead set against that because he doesn’t want to go back and he doesn’t want
me to be in a country where I don’t speak the language and he would worry even more
about something happening to me.

We got caught...

Yesterday was a day! I went with my husband on his meetings and then we got stuck in traffic on the way home. Even using the carpool lane it was crawling so we decided to stop for dinner. He got a beer and some nachos then told the waiter to bring me something pretty and pink with no alcohol. It was a strawberry lemonade with an umbrella. 

I love him in tight long-sleeve shirts like this. It just makes him look super hot. 

We got home and my dad was out with friends watching sports so we started playing around in the living room. Then we heard a strange sound! I got off his lap and went to open the blinds and it was raining! Like real rain! It is so rare here that the sound of it hitting the glass is startling. I opened the patio door and it was cold and windy. 

He came up behind me with our couch blanket and wrapped it around us. Across the street from us are low-rise buildings so people can't really see up into our place. Plus it has this high wall across the patio. 

We decided to take things outside. It was so beautiful with the thunder and lightning. We did things discreetly with the couch blanket around us. I know, TMI, but it was hot being so risky. 

When we finished up, we went and took a shower and put on shorts and shirts. We decided to make hot chocolate and go back to the patio since the storm was still going strong. 

As we passed my dad's door I heard his music playing and realized he must have come home. I knocked and he opened the door but wouldn't look me in the eye. He said he'd just come home and didn't realize we were here... right. He did a fake yawn and said he was going to bed. 

I turned to my husband for help and he just shook his head like we should leave it. 

Then my dad laughed. He said, "You didn't know I was going to come home. It's fine. At least I didn't see anything." 

Midterm projects are coming along! So much work. These online classes add extra work like they're trying to prove they are just as big as campus courses. But I'm getting it done. 

I feel pretty... Lukas does too.

Busy week. Lukas chapter 15 is coming, but it'll be a bit. I'm working on midterm protects and I don't like what I wrote for one so I'm going back to fix it. The tutor guy gently suggested I need to really work on it more.

I had this bad dream two nights ago and didn't sleep well and my husband said I'm stressed out. I hate that he thinks I'm so fragile… and I hate worse when I live up to that thought…

He is super thoughtful though.Last night he came home from work with this fancy bath stuff that is supposed to help little kids get a good night of sleep. It's like being in a big cup of camomile tea. It smelled really good and we took a bath together and played around then went to bed early. He is a good, good, good daddy.

Today was better. I got caught up on stuff and solved some issues with the paper.

Lukas will come. I'm ten pages in on the next chapter, that's halfway through for Lukas.

The super nice high school by us had a riot. A bunch of kids were fighting and it made the news!

I DEFINITELY need to put that in Lukas chapter 16! What would Ari do? What would Mr. K do with his boy in danger? Would Lukas run off? Would he go hide somewhere and call Ari?

High schools are dangerous now. My high school never had anything like that happen. There was a police chase that ended in front of it once and we went in lockdown. There was a shooting nearby, but it didn't affect the campus. But that's pretty much anywhere in Los Angeles.

Husband decided we are going to bed early tonight! 9pm, he says. We will be asleep at 9pm! Now it's 9:30 and I'm blogging and he's in the living room talking to some friends on his phone. 😘😍😈😇Then he'll come to bed and we'll play some word games on his phone for another hour.

One Jealous Emri...

We spent the day with gay families in Orange County. We expected to see kids there but only two of the ten couples brought their kids. My husband was like… why?? I guess they needed some time off.

It was a nice BBQ and drinks and perfect weather with an ocean breeze. We got to hear about the surrogacy stuff and diapers and apparently we already need to get on lists for the best schools. As soon as there's a pregnancy we need to be schmoozing the top tiers of Newport Beach! Sounds stressful. The husband said he will investigate.

I got super jealous twice this weekend!!

Last night we went to see Avenue Q and there was this guy who looked like me but a little taller and cute. I could tell he’d spent an hour on his hair. It was flawless. He was making eyes at my husband and even tried to talk to him when he went to wait in line to get us drinks. I watched it from where I was sitting with the clients.

When my husband came back I demanded to know what the guy said to him.

He said, "I couldn't hear him. Is loud here and he talk very fast with the gay accent."

I was like "What is that?"

"It sound like his voice come through the nose and is high. Why you are bothered for him? You know him from High School or the college?" He totally didn't get it.

I realized he didnt even think the guy was flirting with him so I just told him I loved him and put my head on his shoulder. He pulled me into his chest and said, "Sleepy baby."

+++

Then today the gay dads were all over him. They were mostly older guys and he is exotic muscle-meat. But one of them, a cute-ish white guy about his age was all about him! He ignored his husband and chased mine. He even put his hands on his chest a few times when he over-laughed at my husband's dumb jokes!!

No one gives more than a polite chuckle to his dad humor jokes! When we excused ourselves to the restroom (he doesn't like me going alone), I told him that guy was mega flirting with him. This time he realized what the guy was up to but he said not to worry about it. After that he gently pushed the guy away when he came up and put his hand on my husband's shoulder and got too close.

The funny thing was that the whole way home my husband kept joking about me being jealous. He said, “I love! I never see you jealous! I am always the jealousy one! Is nice to see you step up! I cannot fight a boy your size, and his husband was not much larger. I try to gently push him off.”

He loved that I felt protective over him. I reminded him what a delicious Persian kebab he is and told him about the twinky guy from last night. He said that boy from last night was nowhere near me in competition and "too loud." He doesn't like loud boys.

“I think he was drunk and a boy should not be like this. His partner is young too! This is why two boys should not find each other. If you were with a boy like you, this will be disaster! This is why he try to get me. Is not attraction, he is desperate for daddy!”

That made me feel better… He was very happily rewarded when we got home and now he's working on his business for the week with a very pleased smile on his lips. He's even whistling!

Friendship Thoughts

The husband had a crazy week so he is enjoying his video game and beer while he plays with his friends in the headset. Tomorrow night some clients if his are dragging is out to see avenue Q. I looked at some clips on YouTube and he is going to hate it! Sunday we are going to a Meetup for LGBT parents just to scope things out. The organizer guy invited us so we can learn.

I got the question asked about how my friends felt when I first met my husband.

One friend who enjoys meeting lots of guys for fun had experience with Persian and Arab guys. He said it was great but they go through boys quickly and was worried my guy would just use me and move on.

My other friends didn't like that he was immediately so protective and possessive even before I knew he was gay and interested in me like that. Some of my friends were getting into bad things and A----- did not like that. He led me away from things like that.

Once things got serious, my friends got put at the back of my mind and he was all I wanted to hang out with. For awhile I just forgot everyone else existed and when I got invited to things I didn't go or didn't respond. Then I stopped getting invited to things.

Things got really bad when we moved in together. He didn't like my friends because they were rude to him and they tried to get me to go out to parties and things he didn't approve of because there would be drinking and other stuff.

Plus my friends at the time were kind of abrasively gay and he is more reserved and kind of freaked out by the things they talked about quite openly. Also, he wasn't out to anyone and worried that word would get back to his parents in Iran through the very active Persian pipeline of the San Fernando Valley.

We mostly hung out together or with his friends and clients. I felt totally alone and I got super depressed. Things got really bad and I stopped eating. That always seems to be his big alarm. We decided I did need to have some time with friends and he put up with them as best he could.

But my not-eating issues are a WHOLE other blog post. They didn't start with him, but he is very mindful of them and he steps in to monitor things when I don't take care of myself like I should.

It took a good year or so before they started to like him and some friends I lost entirely. He proved that he was going to stick around and really did want me to be happy. Now, my friends are even kind of jealous that I have him.

He schedules nights for them to come over and hang out here. We have pizza and watch stuff. It is funny when we mix my friends with his. I don’t invite the super loud ones. The ones I do invite are intimidated by his friends but yet fascinated. His friends aren’t all hot alpha guys, but they are all very straight-ish sporty guys. So it is interesting to see the groups together.

It’s harder seeing them since I’m doing e-university instead of on-campus classes. But he puts it in his calendar to plan at least one night a month when they come over or I get to meet up with them somewhere. They also like that whether they come here or we meet up, he buys them dinner. That’s always a plus in college. He is the daddy.

3 years ago this week...

Lukas chapter 15 is coming along. I'm almost halfway so it'll probably be another week because I've been working on school stuff and husband stuff.

I feel like I shouldn't get too detailed with talking about my friend who is connecting with one of my husband's Arab friends, but it's fascinating to me. I guess because when I was at his stage and figuring things out with dating an alpha Muslim guy, there wasn't anyone to talk to. None of my friends understood and they thought it was sketchy.

That got me thinking about how I handled stuff back then and I went to my ThoughtBook. This entry was from three years ago in October 2015 when we were dating but didn't yet live together.

It explains why my husband never likes to wrestle with me or get too rough. Even now when he play spanks or pins me down he is so gentle that it loses the desired effect. I’ve noticed in each of my series I include a similar event between the alpha and boy. It left an impression on me.

Don't judge it too harshly… things happen:

Things got weird with A. His friend asked for my help to look at his paper for a class so he wanted to meet up on Saturday. But then I got a text from him this morning saying he was meeting with someone else for help and was sorry for bothering me.  So I asked A—- last night after we did stuff together and he said he'd told his friend to find someone else for help and not bother me anymore.

He wouldn't say why or what he said to his friend. He told me to forget about it. I kept asking and he got upset and said to stop asking. He said it was between men.

I got upset by that. So I got up from his bed saying I would text the friend and ask him myself. Then he grabbed my arm really hard to pull me back down to him and it hurt. I yelled and he realized he hurt me. He suddenly looked scared. He sat up and kept trying to look at it but I scooted up against the pillows and pulled my knees up into my chest.

He kept apologizing and saying he forgets how small I am and he didn't mean to do it.

I told him to take me home and we didn't really talk.

But yesterday he called and we went out and he apologized. He felt bad seeing the little mark on my arm. He said that guy just likes to use people and he didn't want him using me. He didn't say if he meant use for school work or use for physical stuff.

It's all good. I just pushed him too far I think. He wasn't used to me being so insistent when he'd already told me no.

I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. I know my friends wouldn't get it and they already don't like him. They’d tell me I was being stupid for talking to him again after that.

O & M

Things are heating up between Ollie and Mohammed. I am all in on this one so of course my husband told me to not get involved! But I'm sure Mohammed is giving him the details from his side because husband knew that they have been seeing each other every day for the last three days. 

Last night they went for a moonlit picnic up at the Observatory in Griffith Park. They watched the sunset then went on a little walk up the hill and found a little spot to picnic. He said Mohammed brought a lantern and blanket and sandwiches and stuff from Subway. Ollie hates sandwiches, but he acted like it was his favorite thing in the world and they just sat and talked for hours. 

The Griffith Observatory and view of LA

My husband used to do stuff like that. I pointed out to him at dinner that we haven't done something like that in awhile. 

He said, "You complain of the cold and bugs." 

"I complain about the cold so you'll hold me." 

"You want I hold you? I always hold you! I hold you right now!" Then he carried me to the couch and then things got dirty. 

Anyways! Ollie said they ended up back at his place and um yeah, things are going well. It's interesting because both of them live with roommates. Ollie's are gay and kind of the loud gays who would bother an Arab man. Mohammed's are straight and from what my husband said, they don't know about his "preference." So he had to sneak him in. 

I think that's always the down side to dating a guy who is like that. My husband's roommates didn't care and most of them liked guys too though some liked girls and guys. We had to be quiet about things just for basic decency, but not for hiding. 

But Ollie is happy and I'm glad it's working out for them. He is discovering all the little things one discovers when dating an alpha Arab/Persian. He said he feels like he fell into a time warp, but is happy with how things are going.

P.S. What are your Questions? I want to pry but I don't know what to ask and Ollie only offers what I ask of him. 😐 

In Other news: Jake Choi is a beautiful man...