He promises to take me out tomorrow, but that will likely be the park and Target. haha. We are turning into a boring married couple, but if I have to do it, he is my dream to do it with.
SO anyways since he is playing video games and drinking beer with my dad tonight, I finished chapter 17 of Lukas!! I sent it in so hopefully it posts soon.
One of my long-time readers sent me an email asking if I could do a chapter from Ari's perspective. I really want to try it. I have some good ideas for it. It will be a challenge, but I am finally starting to understand Ari. I'm preparing for it by asking my husband his thoughts on things. He is really good at explaining to me why I need to follow his ridiculously overprotective rules. He makes it sound like a good thing and not like I am a total idiot who can't fend for himself without running to daddy.
He says things like "You are my tasty treat and there are many who can smell how trusting you are. I need protect you from them. I am hard shell and my baby is the pretty pearl. I have to snap at anyone who come by to try and sample him."
That's a lot nicer than saying, "You're a dumbass who can't fend for himself."
On another note. His parents are finally going to come!!! We are going to Texas over the Christmas break and we will help them find a place to live. He has been researching things and has found homes to look at in their price range. Some of them are HUGE! One has this little river that runs in a meandering loop around the backyard! I can't wait to see it. He says if we moved there we could build a mansion in a gated area with armed guards. That is pretty much his dream. I am not moving to Texas!
Anyways! Happy Friday!!
Was the place you were going to a Brazilian Steak house? It kind of sounds like it. We have been to a similar place to eat. It was very good, if I remember correctly.
ReplyDeleteI understand your husband being too tired to go out. Sometimes after working all week, we are so tired that the thought of getting ready to go out is too much. Those are the nice snuggle on the couch evenings.
I can't wait for the new chapter to post. I'll keep checking until I see it. :)
Yes! It's a churrasco place. I think on La Cienega. It's funny because people think Beverly Hills is celebrities, but it's really just a ton of rich persians.
DeleteSnuggles will come soon. Right now he is bro-ing out with my dad which is good. It's nice when they bond. I know he works hard, but I can't let him get away with just keeping me at home all the time. I have to push him. His dad even told me that. He said if I just be his complacent boy all the time then I will end up locked away for the rest of my life. :) But yes he did work super hard this week so I'm glad he gets a night to enjoy himself. I'll get snuggles in return.
I’m curious where all the safety concerns are coming from. I get that the world is progressively more dangerous, LA is not the safest city, being protective of your loved ones especially if they seem more vulnerable because you’re the smaller one. But guarded homes and never being alone seems extreme. And I don’t mean bad for you but sort of stressful for him.
ReplyDeleteI feel more safety conscious than most people I know because of places I’ve lived and things I’ve seen. Friends have joked about it with me before. I can’t imagine thinking about it as much as it sounds like he does. And when you have kids it seems like it would be really rough on him. Has he had something horrible happen (if that’s not too personal) or do Persians think the U.S. is crazy dangerous? I’m sure each mass shooting doesn’t help that. It sounds like it’s a big adjustment for you socially but I think it would start to make me a bit scared myself if I was in your shoes.
There's kind of a lot there and he doesn't easily let me in on those things. He is from a part of the world where things can change dramatically from year to year and safety is never a given even in the nicest of areas. He was also in the army over there. In his culture a man is defined by how much safety and comfort he can give to his family, his contribution to the group. It's much more of a collectivist culture (I took a course on this last year!).
DeleteThere is so much cultural difference between us. I've taken classes and read a lot to try and understand some of it. There are so many layers to it.
One other thing is the difference in perception. Like for me to go to the grocery store in old shorts and a t-shirt wasn't something I ever thought about. For him, it's important to dress nice where he goes so people will see him as "safe." He doesn't want to look dangerous or like a poor immigrant who is exploiting our country. I would never even think about that. It's just a whole other mentality, especially with what has happened to our country over the last two years.
Being in a dangerous situation could lead to problems which could lead to him not being able to be here in this country anymore. I know he worries about it. It's a dream he worked very hard to get. The layers of safety protect that. But I am alone sometimes! I'm taking classes online so I'm either home or at work with him working with my tutor. He does take me out and schedules fun things with my friends. It's been a long road for us to figure things out, but it's better than it was.
Sorry for the long answer. I could go on and on here. :)
Aww, I didn’t think of it from that angle, that’s a bit sad. Middle Eastern men are not in a great place right now, in the U.S. It’s sad he has to think about even his wardrobe that way. I studied immigration and I’ve always found it odd that people think immigrants get special treatment in terms of government aid. Most government agencies won’t give anything to noncitizen residents. And most immigrants have strong work ethics anyway. I guess it’s easier to sit back and assume than learn the realities. And it would also be weird knowing a lot of people are scared of you when they know nothing about you.
ReplyDeleteI didn't either. There was so much to learn when I got with him and I said a lot of dumb and offensive things that he very sweetly corrected me on. I had to learn about his culture but also learn about his experiences and how he sees the world. He says my world is very small and simple and that I am blessed to have that. :)
DeleteMaybe you should suggest talking Uber for nights out. The LA traffic is hard to face after a long day. I'm sure he likes to be in the driver's seat, but maybe you could say that he wouldn't have to worry about how much he drinks.
ReplyDeleteWe take Lyft when we're going somewhere he will want to drink. Also we have lots of nice little places in our neighborhood to walk to for dinner and a nice evening. But I can understand that he has been driving and dealing with public places all day and he just wants my cooking and time with me on the couch. :) We went out today and then for brunch again today. It was fun :)
DeleteYou're in Houston, right? We will be there in a few weeks. I can't wait to see it. It looks so pretty and green.