Lukas vignette

Ok so Lukas has clearly veered off the reality based storyline, but I do sometimes put in little things that happened between me and my husband. I don't always leave them in (I cut out a lot of stuff). 

I'm working on chapter 17 right now and I remembered this little moment that happened about four months after we moved in together. I might not leave it in the story so I thought I'd post it here. :) It was humiliating and it sucked and I felt like a total loser, but after that he always gave me a few twenties to hold onto. It was an important argument, but I'll probably cut it from this chapter: 

I had to pee and Ari needed to make some calls so he pulled off the freeway and found a Coffee place.

“I make phone calls. You go in and do the pee, ok? And get me a coffee. You know how I like this, my love.” Ari let go of me and reached for his phone.

I dashed inside and, luckily, the restroom was open. I finished and got in line for his coffee. It quickly filled up behind me with other commuters desperate for caffeine to make their ride home. I got to the cashier and ordered Ari a coffee and a sparkling water for myself. It was kind of a surreal moment. I hadn’t ordered and paid for anything in forever. It felt so weird to not be just standing behind a Khorasani man who would order and pay for me.

And that’s when the nightmare began. I had forgotten that things had to be paid for. The cashier asked for eight dollars and sixty seven cents. I patted my pockets knowing I had no wallet or cash. I froze and looked at him helplessly.

“Um… This is where you give me cash or a card,” the cashier said. I looked at the line behind me and saw eight pairs of eyes staring at me in annoyance.

“Money… yes!” I said like it was a new concept. “I’ll be back!” I dashed out the door and ran back to the car where Ari was talking on his phone. I tapped on his window and he held up a finger like I should wait. I felt my cheeks flush and realized what a total child I had become. It hadn’t occurred to me that I would need to pay for things when I asked for them. I had regressed to that level where I couldn’t even buy myself a drink without needing him. It was a low moment.

Ari kept his finger up and I gave up. I went to the passenger side of his car and got in. He was talking through the car radio and the conversation was in some other language. He put his seatbelt on and drove away without even wondering what had happened to his coffee...

New Lukas posted

The new Lukas chapter posted! I like it and I'm happy to already be getting feedback from readers. I started on a new story arc so hopefully I can keep it going for a few chapters. 20 chapters would be a lot for this series. I feel like there is so much story left to tell with them. 

We had a good Monday, very chill. Husband came home early and took me to the doctor for a checkup from my sickness a few weeks ago. All the tests showed my potassium was low and my weight was too low and I hadn't had some vaccines and stuff so I had to go back for a review. 

He was happy with the pounds I gained over Thanksgiving in New York. I'm not. I know I need to be healthier, but I like being small. I love when my guy picks me up and how proud he is at carrying me from the couch to bed without waking me up. I've talked to him about this a lot. 

He says if I get to a healthy weight then he will work out more and always be strong enough to lift me. He says he wants me healthy and that's all that matters. He says some day we are going to be so old that I will have to carry him. He says me being tiny doesn't make him love me more. He says a lot of very sweet things and I know he is right. 

But the minute he makes a little noise or joke when he picks me up it makes me want to not eat for a week. I know I'm not healthy like that. I also know this blog is not my therapy spot where I should post about serious personal issues... but that's me... If I don't get it out then I just think about it obsessively. 

Home!

Six hours is a long time to be on an airplane! I did sleep for most of it. My dad picked us up at the airport and took us for dinner. 

When we were waiting at the gate in New York, these four guys were standing at the device charging table checking us out. They were dressed up nicely, two just a little older than my husband and two a lot older. We weren't doing anything weird, just sitting and sharing a sandwich and playing on our phones, but they kept looking. 

Then when we got on the plane, of course our seats were right with theirs! They had the left side and then the aisle seat on our side. We always get the window and middle seats. He sits in the middle and I cocoon at the window with the arm rest up so he can have 1/3 of my seat and stretch out. 

So we're walking down to our seats and I notice all four sets of eyes on us. He sends me into the row so he can put our bags overhead. I notice the eyes stay on him not on me. THEN I notice why! 

He was wearing his adidas track pants that are a little tight in the crotch and he usually wears a longer t-shirt that covers it a bit.... but today just a white shirt that stops at the waist... as he's putting our rolling bags in the overhead his shirt rides up to show his tummy and his bulge is seriously on display. The tight shirt showing off his chest and the gold chain didn't hurt either... The guys were completely hypnotized! 

They must have noticed "Mister Bulge," as I call it, before when he was sitting since he sits with his legs spread wide (man-spreading!). 

I've gotten used to his... gift. He's usually more covered there. 

He put the bags away and then smiled at the men in his polite way that is completely oblivious to being ogled. He made friends with them while I snuggled in under his arm and drifted off. 

Nice to know I have someone people like to look at. 😍

Lukas is 3/4 of the way finished. I got some writing time and I'm hoping to finish it this weekend! 

Thanksgiving on the Hudson

Trying to blog from my phone here. Not sure it will be as pretty as you’re used to. 

This has been the most relaxing vacation ever. We thought we were going to be in New York City. We were for the first night but the next day they drove us a few hours north to a beautiful old house in the woods near a really cute little village. The whole place looks like it’s out of a movie, one of those romantic holiday movies in a little New England town where someone comes to escape the big city. 

We are with two older guy couples, clients of my husband. They sound very New York and they’ve been really sweet to us. We aren’t doing much. We saw a winery, played in the snow, made a big fire with s’mores, visited weird little stores with art and antiques, and played a lot of board and card games. 

It’s freezing up here like hardcore winter. It’s so beautiful to see snow everywhere. I really do feel like we fell into a holiday feel good movie. I’ve been living in hoodies, sweatpants, and staying within two feet of the fireplace or my husband’s chest. He’s a natural heater. 

It’s been awesome to see him not work and just relax. He’s turned back into that playful, easygoing boy who hunted me like a hungry lion. 

Today I’m going to help cook. They wanted something from my husband’s culture so I’m making the rice his mom makes. Yesterday I made cookies with the guys. They are so cool to us. 

They picked up on my guy’s overprotective nature with me so whenever they invite me to do anything like a game or hike or baking, they ask him instead of me. “Would Em like to...?” “Should we take Em to...?” It’s interrsting. You think guys from nyc would think our relationship was strange or antiquated and they aren’t like that with each other. But they’re like ok this is who they are. 

It’s made him be at ease here. He’s usually more guarded with me when we vacation with clients. He’s more relaxed here. 

Happy thanksgiving everyone. Sorry it’s not a pretty post today. I’m doing this from my phone. 🥰🥳🤩

Lukas chugs along

So much so much! I have a wall of color coded sticky notes with check marks. I think we are finally ready for NYC! Red sticky notes was tech stuff (he has a lot of duplicate cables), yellow was fun clothes, green was sleep clothes, blue was nice going out clothes, white was bathroom stuff (I love when he takes me shopping at Staples!). 

Dinner is ready and I'm waiting for him to come home so he can go over everything I packed and make sure we are ready. Usually he is the one who tells me what to pack, but he's been busy and I'm kind of an adult now so I'm trying to be better about these things. 

On a good note I got an inspired dream for what to do with Lukas OMG it was hot. My husband woke me up because he said I was "Doing unnatural things" to him. A boy isn't supposed to do that to his man. I think it'll work out great, but I already know people will be demanding a spinoff series. I have a bad habit of creating super interesting side characters. I already have about 3/5 of the chapter written. Hopefully I have time up there to work on it too. 

I think I got it from watching an interview with Rami Malek. Egyptian men are beautiful. Like this one... 

And Rami Malek-

Those eyes are everything!

Well so tomorrow we are off! The winter coats are ready and I am prepared to not be warm for a week unless I'm snuggled into his chest. It is supposed to be snowing and beautiful up there. We want to see the big tree lit up and all the fun winter stuff. I can't wait! 

Aliso is too quiet.

We were getting ready to head down to Orange County for brunch this morning when one of the guys called and asked us if we wanted to spend the night with them since we have a bbq down there tomorrow. Normally we would say no but the hazy smoke here is making both of us feel bad so we packed overnight bags and headed out.

The sky down here is so clear and blue away from the LA pollution and the wild fires in Ventura. We both feel better. 

I know for a fact my dad is probably having a party at our apartment while we're gone! He loves having it to himself to have friends over for sports, pizza, and beer. My husband told him it's fine and he hopes he has a nice night.

This house we are staying at! It is so nice. My husband said you can afford it this nice when it's so far away from any business center or freeway. It's so quiet out here that we are kind of freaked out! He loves it though. He says it is perfect for babies. I keep waiting for sirens, helicopters, usual LA noise. 

We're a few miles in from the Ocean, Laguna Beach. One of the guys told us that used to be a very gay city but now it's mostly gone. The guys we are staying with are married and older and have two little kids who are both very sweet and friendly. The husband has been all about them. They played, wrestled, built a lego contraption, etc...

Now the guys are putting them to bed so we took a break to hang out in the room where we're staying. The house is huge! It's two levels and this guest room is off by itself with a nice sized bathroom and a window overlooking the hillside behind them.

We thought about playing around, but I think that's kind of disrespectful in someone else's home. He seems to think it is ok. We're going to hang out with them more before bedtime and then we'll see what happens. 

Fires and Trips and Love

The western San Fernando Valley is on fire. We are on the other side and away from the haze, but the husband is keeping us indoors today where we have the air purifier going. Tomorrow we are heading down to Orange County for some fun and then a BBQ for Veteran's day with some clients of his. Should be fun! 

Evacuations from Malibu!!

Next weekend we are heading to NYC for vacation. I hope we get some snow. I've never seen it snow here. I have only seen it in Utah. We sent out winter coats to get cleaned since they have been in storage for a year or so. It never gets cold enough here for them. 

I have page 1 of the new Lukas chapter written. It could be good. I'm still working things out. Hopefully the trip will inspire me! 

Ollie and Mohammed moved into their new place. My husband says we will visit them when we get back from our trip. Ollie said they went to pick out new furniture. He said M is letting him pick out a couch and bedroom stuff, but not too much  because they are saving to buy something. 

I'm sure it will look really nice. My husband said I can pick out a housewarming gift for them we can take when we go visit. I want to get them some kitchen things. Ollie needs to learn how to take care of his alpha. He's always been quiet like me and he really wants to make M happy but doesn't know things. He texts me questions and I remind him that M is ok with teaching him and it's ok to make mistakes. 

I wish I had someone like me when I was in his position and everything was so new. My guy was super patient and sweet with me, but clearly wanted me to know things I didn't know. 

I am working on learning how to give him a good massage. I know I suck at it. I try with him, but he is a muscleboy and it's like trying to soften rocks. You really can learn anything on youtube! I'm getting better and learning points that make him go "Oh! Let's do that more!" He is now interested in helping me practice so that's a good sign! 

Our old townhouse is about 4 miles from the fires. The renters talked to my husband last night and it is hazy and smokey but they are ok. Our place isn't near a wooded area so we're not too worried about it. I hope they get control of the fires soon. 

They say it might burn straight down to the Ocean. It's rugged terrain between Thousand Oaks and Malibu so there is a lot to burn and a lot of wildlife without much place to go. 

Elections and Lukas

Tonight is all about the election watching. My husband isn't a citizen, but I am and we went through my ballot together. I don't really care about politics, but he is super interested and was excited to "help" me decide. He did the research on things that will be good for our family. He's a smart guy and even read about the long list of judges. 

The last three hours the TV has been barking and he barks back. 👀 He yells things to me and I just go, "Oh yeah, wow seriously! What is up with that??" 

I made Tacos and did some laundry and worked on my research paper while he yelled from the couch "F$#@ Indiana! Wow Colorado! What is this Texas?" He is all in. 

We did our workout and fun time early so he could focus. I am hoping at some point to pull him away for bedtime. I know he will just watch on his phone while I fall asleep. 

In Lukas news I have been getting emails from readers with some interesting ideas on where to go next. I think the way the last chapter ended put some finality on things so people picked up that it either needs some new direction or it's finished. 

A few other people reminded me that it is a reality based story and was meant to be closer to Noah and obviously I veered off of that path pretty wildly with the dad situation. 

I'm kind of at a crossroads with my writing and what I want to do next. 

We are going to NYC in 11 days! Maybe I'll get inspired with something new. 

We golf like that...

I definitely have the best guy. This morning I made him breakfast and then he got working on his laptop while I eyed him sadly from the couch. I did this for about ten minutes before he closed his computer and said, “ok! Take the pills and get dressed!”

I’ve been trapped in the house or doctor’s office since Tuesday and I needed some sunshine. He didn’t tell me where we were going until we were in Orange County. He said we need to investigate the best mini golf fun places to decide where we should buy a house.

I don’t know why but I really like mini golf. It’s right up there with zoos and I even put it in most of the series I’ve written. The best ones have good lemonade and keep up their contraptions.  This one had a big castle, an old California mission, and a creepy dollhouse, oh and a giant tiki head. That was pretty cool.

We needed some dope Khakis like these two lovebirds! 👬

We went slowly and he kept feeling my forehead but the sun and cool breeze made me feel better.

When we took a break, this little family asked to share our table so of course my husband made instant friends with them. He’s a people person. I’m an observer.

The dad was that kind of Orange County dude you see on tv. Young, buff, and clean cut. He was so cute playing with his daughter while his unattractive wife disappeared to go get food. I could tell my husband was jealous. He’s so ready to have a baby in his lap. The wife took forever to come back. She looked unpleasant and she was kinda rude to the dad.

On the way home my husband said he wished he’d started earlier with kids. He said he wished he’d met me sooner and not wasted time partying.

“I would have been in high school!” I reminded him.

“Oh… yes. Your people are late to life.” He laughed.

I told him he’s only 30 so when the first kid finishes high school he won’t yet be out of his 40’s. Then when he’s in his 50’s the kids will be in their 20’s and having their own kids. He just smiled and put his arm around me and kissed my forehead.

Sick boy

This lady took four vials of blood from me. When she pulled them out from her basket I said, "Four? You need four? What are you going to do with all that?" 

"Is for tests, they need find things. Is ok." My husband nodded at her and held my hand. Then I had to pee in a cup... she was insistent on that too. I got a flu shot, anti nausea medicine, other fun medicine for a stomach virus. 

I'm finally feeling somewhat normal again. I woke up and had a piece of toast with banana crushed onto it. First food I have kept down in a few days... so far. 🤞No meat or dairy or anything weird for a few days. I might have an apple for lunch if I feel crazy 🍎

My dad said it's because I have "the good insurance" and a husband who takes me to the doctor anytime I sneeze. He says that's why I get sick. I never used to be sick when dad worked crazy hours and we had the state kid's plan. I had the occasional cold, but now it seems like every few months I get something. 

My husband says it'll be better when we move out of LA and away from the dirty city...

Lukas chapter 16 is my next endeavor. 

A friend of mine from the university I went to is doing that NaNoWriMo (National Novel writing Month) challenge. He bragged that he did 2k words so far.

One time I put the first ten chapters of Noah's Starship into one doc to get a word count and it was 117k words! 

Popular novels average: 

• Commercial and literary novels: 80,000 – 100,000
• Science fiction and fantasy: 100,000 – 115,000
• Young adult: 55,000 – 70,000
• Middle grade: 20,000 – 55,000
• Romance: 80,000 – 100,000
• Mystery: 75,000 – 100,000
• Thriller: 90,000 – 100,000
• Memoir: 80,000 – 90,000
• Western: 45,000 – 75,000