17 year old Evan Panos lives in a small town in Illinois with his greek immigrant parents. His mother has mental issues and has beaten him since childhood to get the demons out and make him right with God. His father, a handsome Greek baker, seems frozen and unable to help.
The story follows a series of disappointing bystanders as Evan tries again and again to get help only to be pushed back to his abuser.
Things get weirder when his best friend Henry comes back from summer and has turned into a muscle hunk who confesses his love for Evan. Evan loves him too and yet that doesn't really fix things.
Sounds like a book you don't want to read, right? Oh but it's good!
The author, a design star on several cable shows I have never seen, reveals it is his own story.
There is so much to say about this book!
I related to having issues with a mother since mine left pretty early on. I talked to my dad about it. I don't remember much of being with her. I remember a lot of happy meals at the park.
I remember her yelling at me for not finishing my food because she had finished her cigarette and wanted to go. I'd start to tear up and she'd feel bad and yell at herself then tell me I was ok and not to listen to her.
She'd say, "Mean mommy, right?" Then I'd tell her, "No, mommy. You're not mean."
Then she'd call a friend or my dad or someone on her phone so I could just sit there and play with the happy meal toy while I slowly worked through the chicken nuggets. She had this silver flip phone she'd never let me touch.
"Did she ever hit me?" I asked my dad this. I don't recall it. She wasn't cut out to be a mom, but she also wasn't cut out to be abusive.
"God no! Her parents hit her plenty. She worried she would too. As far as I know she never did. Why? Did you suddenly have a memory of that or something?" He looked concerned when he said this, but I could tell he was being honest. He didn't look away. Whatever my dad's faults, he is always ready to step up and make sure I am ok.
Evan's mother, in the book, calls him a poo-sti, the greek word for the gay f word.
I asked my husband what the Persian word for it is. He doesn't like to talk about those things. He wouldn't tell me.
I asked him if his parents had ever hit him. He said "Yes, of course! Persian parents are tough." I made him promise he'd never do that to our kids. He said of course he wouldn't. He said they will have the happy, soft childhood I had, but with two parents.
My husband has decided I need to read happier books! This one was pretty rough, but so beautiful and Evan is such an endearing character who just keeps going. I'd never have the guts to take one of my characters through such a rough story arc. It's just not part of my history.
Dahm. That sounds like a heavy book... I see where your husband is coming from, when he says you need happier books ;-)
ReplyDeleteI read a book by someone who was sexually abused as a child. That also hit me hard.
If you don't mind me asking: did you never see your mom again since she left? An would you want to?
I have seen her a few times. She used to have my phone number. Now she has to go through husband or dad to speak to me. They judge her mood and sobriety before letting her talk to me. I don't hate her. I just don't really need or want her around.
DeleteI know my husband sends her money and she checks in with him. I think she is in Florida at a recovery house.