We got a super nice hotel close to the water downtown. I love how it has a waterfront. LA does not. We have beachy areas but they are far off the freeway and feel like a separate city.
He has some business down here and in fact, is out meeting the guy for drinks to discuss stuff.
I can tell he is going through something big. He is reevaluating things and what we're doing. I think it finally hit him how stressful his job is. He is successful and makes good money and is building an awesome future for us, but I want my husband back. More than that I want him to be fun again and playful. He's still super loving and sweet, but he's gotten so serious. Life is taking it out on him.
The baby thing is still in the works. It's taking longer and things aren't as easy as we thought... well as I thought. He says of course it takes awhile and it could be a few more months until we get something viable that will work.
Ahmed's Cub chapter 5 is almost done. It's been hard to work on it when I had so many midterm projects, but I am hoping to finish it in a day or two. We will see... :)
Have you ever noticed how Middle Eastern and European straight guys can get away with wearing things we'd think were gay... :) My husband does this sometimes.
It is ok to be serious about your work, but you also must have downtime and balance it out. That is something that I have been working on with Sajid for months. He works Monday through Friday, then comes home and works on reports and presentations. I know the Middle Eastern idea is that the man works hard to provide, but at what cost? I also work, but he will never let me spend my money on anything. I know I told you about the joint account we opened that is strictly for the bank's autopay program. We both contribute to it on payday, but I think he secretly replaces my contribution with his own money. Shortly after opening the account, he started buying me expensive gifts, so that was my clue.
ReplyDeleteI know they want to take care of us, but they don't need to make themselves old before their time. I don't know about you, but I want mine around for a very long time.
I feel that! I think he is close to making some big changes. I know he feels so much pressure from his family to be successful and build safety and fortune here so his family (me and our future kids) will have safety. That with the fact that he would die before he depended on income from me means he pushes himself too hard. Things have to change.
DeleteI hear you!! I really worry about Sajid sometimes. I absolutely do not want to see him on my unit having open heart surgery because he stressed himself too much
DeleteThat must be tough. I hope it'll get better soon. Of the top of my head, the main reason as to why somebody will overwork themselves is because they feel like they have to. Probably because they feel like anything less is not an option. I may not get your whole situation, but if that's how it seems, then it may be a good idea to show your husband that he doesn't have to worry about this alone. Show him that you're here to help and prove it by spending some meaningful time with him. Maybe something that will get his playful side to show.
ReplyDeleteTo be perfectly honest, I don't really know what I'm talking about, but I hope that this will help in some way. Good luck with Ahmed and your midterm projects!
Yes and there is the added pressure of being an immigrant here. He has to prove himself and money means security away from discrimination. There is pressure, especially with Persians, to have the big house and car and prove that you belong here. Plus his family expects him to be the best, the top, the big earner.
DeleteMidterm crunch is a killer... I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteIt sucked! Now I can enjoy vacation :)
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