He didn't tell me at first. We went for his checkup and he and the doctor were talking in Farsi because of course we must have a Persian doctor! :)
He has to take it easier. He has to take less business and turn over more to the two assistants he's been pretty rough on. He says they do good work, but it's not his level.
He said, "It's hard. There is SO much opportunity here. It is so easy to make money in this country if you put in the work! In Iran you are born into a class and there is not the ease to move up. People get jobs and opportunity at birth. This country has every possibility."
I am trying my best to learn new massage techniques to help him relax. He loves that I am trying them out on him. Last night we watched our first holiday movie. We'll get a tree when we get back from Thanksgiving in Texas.
He normally doesn't open up to me about stress. I had to get him naked, under the covers, with just a soft lamp glow before he'd tell me. He said it is so hard to say no to all the dollars flying around and deals keep popping up. He wants to give me this magical high priced life that we really don't need.
I told him I could get a job since I'll finish my degree soon.
Him: I will not have my boy working! What kind of man can't provide the life his family deserve?
Me: I don't care about having this big house. I want a long life together, not a Gucci one. I don't want you killing yourself trying to buy me junk I don't need. I'd be ok in an apartment if it meant you had peace.
Him: You don't know the life you gave me. I was ready to head home to Iran. I'd be there now, married to an older woman with a good job and I'd try to have a Persian version of you on the side. I never thought I could have this and it is so hard to not give it my everything, to give you my everything.
I know he is so happy to have his parents here and his other brothers should be coming in a few years when the immigration thing cools down.
He agreed to set actual work hours for himself and rely on his assistants more. He said he has made good investments with the profits so we have funds for his retirement and our future kids.
He is going to try and turn off work by 7 each night and dedicate more time to relaxing, watching movies, and playing his video games with his friends. And we plan to use our Disneyland passes more frequently. It's nice to just go for dinner and walk. We easily do 4-5 miles in an evening and talk about things.
He is also going to try and actually work out when we go to the gym instead of just doing the minimum on the machines and socializing with people.
It's funny. Every time we go to the gym he makes new friends. He will start doing reps but then some other muscle hunk will talk to him and by the time I finish he's lost time.
He's said this stuff before. I hope he can do it. I need him; not the money or house or trips or financial stuff.
I love making artistic covers for the Lukas chapters! So cool! :)
I hope it’s nothing chronic, and that he feels better soon. You really sound like his best medicine. You should forge a Rx note from his dr., in Farsi, saying he has a Rx to listen to Emri and obey you, haha.
ReplyDeleteFinancially, if he’s investing and not buying more I think that’s always the key. Pay off any debt and put any extra to work for you by investing. Again, a listen to Emri thing, no Gucci life needed.
And you could probably publish something without putting in much more time than you already spend on your stories. Just a thought, I know it wouldn’t replace what he makes but does he know you get #1 ratings online? :)
His problem is stress and not getting enough sleep. The prescription would be cool! hah.
DeleteHe is very smart with money. We have rental income from our old townhouse in LA and his car is paid for by his company. He had a pretty good down payment to put down on our house so it isn't hard to keep up with and he has savings and investments for our future.
He just really likes what he does and he finds it hard to step away. To him that is like refusing money.
Me getting a job is something he is dead set against. He says he can make more in a few hours than I could in a week working a daily job.
He doesn't really have time for my writing. It makes me sad, but I understand. He will listen when I talk about it, but he doesn't like the idea of strange men reading and responding to my writing. He definitely would not like me blogging. :)
Thank you!
I understand his point on the writing. It’s nice that you blog though. I usually read more from the authors that give some comments or backgrounds. And you’re really funny which isn’t necessarily something you can show much through a story alone.
DeleteAt least you aren’t all over all the social media platforms, I see some authors with links to everything. He would hate that!
I guess it is weird having strangers comment but it’s kind of the only way it’s done now. I joined a book club a couple months ago, like meet up in person in a bookstore type. It’s a bit surreal having in person conversations with strangers. So used to the messaging with strangers I’ll never meet online way of things.
Good luck with the stress reduction plan! Sounds like a good one. I discovered myNoise app looking for white noise to help me sleep. If he keeps working too late just turn something on like that, slowly increasing the volume of the rain falling or monks chanting or whatever you guys find relaxing, lol.
These are things we have talked about. Stress is no good and can actually shorten your life. I am absolutely sure you can get him to relax when he comes home to you and the happy home you are making for him.
ReplyDeleteThe secret blogging would get old, but at least you don't have people telling on you. I can't tell you how often I get messages at work saying, "Who is this you are talking to? Is he bothering you? Why aren't you with your patients?". He has so many friends at the hospital that I never know who is watching me and reporting back to him. Ha!
Persian version makes me sad. Happy for him definitely but sad thinking of all the people in the world in that situation. The stars aligned for your husband though, that part is happy!
ReplyDelete