So I am starting to figure out how this whole adult thing works.
Over the Christmas break, I had several little incidents with my husband that really bothered me. A few times, someone would ask me a question and my husband would interrupt and laugh then say, "Why you ask this to him? Emri does not know this." or "My Emri does not know these things. He is just a boy."
It was usually questions about our schedule or upcoming events or other life plans.
I got into it with my husband and he seemed surprised that I was offended. He said, "You do not wish to be an adult! I am happy with you being a simple one. This is what you want. Yes?"
He told me he got this message because every time he tries to talk to me about bills or accounts or our investments I get a dazed look and ignore him. He showed me the file he has showed me before that has all the instructions on what to do if he dies. It has who to call and all the important information.
He said he thought I didn't want to know any of this stuff or handle anything and he is happy to handle it for me.
We had some important talks. I am finishing school soon and I want to not be a total dope about our life together. He said it would help him greatly if I could keep an eye on the house bills and manage the travel plans. He said it would let him focus more on his business knowing I was handling the home things.
So this week I have paid the electricity and cable/internet bill. He is giving me little assignments. Every day I check the bank and credit card accounts and send him a summary all together in one email. I note any new charges or deposits and what they were for.
Today I booked a hotel for us on the beach in San Diego for a nice weekend. He showed me how to use the points and then call the hotel to make sure we get the view we want. I am learning his logins for things and they are saved in my phone.
He said that after I graduate, I could help out with his business since it is the source of our income. He said it would allow me time to write and clean and cook for us. I feel good about it. It's a step in the right direction.
He also agreed to let me answer a question from his family without interrupting and making me feel small. Positive steps... 👼
Cheers to the new you! I’m so bad about that type of thing. I know it’s important but it’s also boring, sometimes stressful.
ReplyDeleteAdulting is hard. Good for you on agreeing to boundaries with him. Those are hard too. I was secretly hoping for Southern California for the honeymoon there is a world class desalinization plant in San Diego that I so want to see. What can I say I am an engineer (in training).
ReplyDeleteZ says because of bad people in my life, I started adulting (his word) too soon so he and our (I almost said his) family treat me as a child on occasion. It is as if they expect me to leap at the opportunity to be a kid again. For me what is past is past. It is hard to release control to another. Baba normally intervenes when things go too far.
We have a couple of friends who are like really into age play. They hosted our engagement party New Years last year. I found their special "play" room by accident looking for the toilet. I was real embarrassed at first. I still think it is a "little" odd. But they love each other and it doesn't interfere with their very public lives so I say more power to them.
Normal growing takes little steps. When you overtake your stride is when pain happens. Congratulations on your "Positive steps" Em 👼
Cool. In yoga they say increasing your comfort zone increases your freedom. However, I find increasing your comfort zone is not comfortable. Your husbands' emotional and psychological support play a significant role in getting the balance right, adulting too soon, too much, too little.
ReplyDeleteMissing your updates... :(
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, me too. I’m bored staying at home so much!
ReplyDeleteHi. I hope you and your family are fine and in good health. This quarantine it's getting to me. Lost my job. Miss your updates.
ReplyDeleteHey, Emri. Hope you're doing well. I know it's been a while, and you don't have to respond. I'm just wondering if there's any way to see if you're alright like your IG/Snapchat?
ReplyDeleteHi! I can't believe I haven't blogged in so long. I am doing stories on wattpad now. That's my only public social media. I'm @emriwrites over there. This virus life is pretty much killed my creativity this year.
DeleteNo worries. I'll definitely check them out! I'm glad to see you're on here again, but more than that, I'm glad you're doing well :)
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