When do you let people go?

 I haven't blogged since January! I don't know if anyone still reads this. We have had a pretty crazy year. 

We moved to Texas this summer to be closer to my husband's family. It was the pandemic and then a death in his family (back in Iran). I couldn't really say no since he'd been away from his family for 8 years since he left Iran. His parents moved to Texas for a job last year and we'd talked about it. 

Things are good here, but I really miss California, and he is starting to remember why he moved halfway across the world from his family. We're not sure what to do, but we know we want to go back. 

I do want your advice though. 

I have a friend I grew up with and we were pretty much inseparable through high school. Things got kind of strained when I met my husband and even worse when I got married. He's kind of the gay best friend I wrote about in some of my series. 

He's always been that type that makes mean jokes and then acts like it's my problem if I get upset. 

When I got married and changed to online school, he made jokes about me being a houseboy or housewife or other terms. We grew up in the same neighborhood except that he had two parents and they had a house instead of an apartment. He never made me feel weird about being poor or not having the stuff he had. 

Now he is working and paying his way through college without much help from his parents and he kind of makes comments that show he is not happy that I'm not in the same situation. A lot of those "must be nice" comments. I feel bad for him.  

His social media makes it look like he is living the super posh life. A lot of it is fake, but I don't call him out on it, because he's my friend. 

Back when we lived in LA, he would post pics of our house or restaurants we'd take him to or my husband's car. My husband is annoyed with him, but he puts up with him because he's my friend. 

The rude jokes though! They are getting worse, especially during the pandemic when he has to keep working to pay his bills, and I complain about my husband not letting me leave the house. 

Last time, he said, "You don't have real problems. Keep his house clean and be happy." 

I know I can't have a serious conversation with him or even say he is being rude. It makes me sad. 

I don't know what to say to him about it, and I don't want to just drop him. 

I have bad memory with things. It's why I am a writer. I love how much he knows about me and all the funny things he remembers from growing up. Sometimes he will bring up some inside joke I have completely forgotten and he remembers every detail of how it happened and why it's funny. 

My husband thinks he is jealous and that things have become toxic. I have a hard time letting people go, even when it is way past time. 

Any thoughts? I really am not sure what to do. 

Growing Up

So I am starting to figure out how this whole adult thing works. 

Over the Christmas break, I had several little incidents with my husband that really bothered me. A few times, someone would ask me a question and my husband would interrupt and laugh then say, "Why you ask this to him? Emri does not know this." or "My Emri does not know these things. He is just a boy." 

It was usually questions about our schedule or upcoming events or other life plans. 

I got into it with my husband and he seemed surprised that I was offended. He said, "You do not wish to be an adult! I am happy with you being a simple one. This is what you want. Yes?" 

He told me he got this message because every time he tries to talk to me about bills or accounts or our investments I get a dazed look and ignore him. He showed me the file he has showed me before that has all the instructions on what to do if he dies. It has who to call and all the important information. 

He said he thought I didn't want to know any of this stuff or handle anything and he is happy to handle it for me. 

We had some important talks. I am finishing school soon and I want to not be a total dope about our life together. He said it would help him greatly if I could keep an eye on the house bills and manage the travel plans. He said it would let him focus more on his business knowing I was handling the home things. 

So this week I have paid the electricity and cable/internet bill. He is giving me little assignments. Every day I check the bank and credit card accounts and send him a summary all together in one email. I note any new charges or deposits and what they were for. 

Today I booked a hotel for us on the beach in San Diego for a nice weekend. He showed me how to use the points and then call the hotel to make sure we get the view we want. I am learning his logins for things and they are saved in my phone. 

He said that after I graduate, I could help out with his business since it is the source of our income. He said it would allow me time to write and clean and cook for us. I feel good about it. It's a step in the right direction. 

He also agreed to let me answer a question from his family without interrupting and making me feel small. Positive steps... 👼

January 13th

We are getting back to normal here. Lots of holiday travel. Texas was good. 

So my Lukas story got reported. I kinda knew it was coming because the chapters got more and more explicit. I kept pushing the boundaries and I guess someone thought it needed to be labeled as mature. The later chapters are definitely mature, but the first twenty or so are heavily edited... but whatever. 

Things are good with me and the husband. Now that we are back home we have some space again. 

The problem is that he has no need for space from me. If it were up to him, I would just stay at his side at all times. For me, I need some room. It's hard to write or blog or be creative when he is right next to me. Now we are home and he is working and driving around LA so I have some home time. 

The worst was last week when we went for business up in northern california. The room he booked was at an old hotel in San Francisco where the rooms are tiny. Not only were we together all day and night, but we were together in a small space. :) 

I shouldn't complain. He loves me like crazy and takes care of me and works to make a nice life for me... but I need some room to breathe sometimes. 

School is starting again next week. I should be finishing my degree this summer. That is crazy. I feel like I have been a college student forever. 

I am working on the Tabula Colton series on Wattpad. I labeled it mature ahead of time. It limits exposure to the series, but I guess it is good to do that. 

Happy New Year.